Depression and Anxiety
I suffer with anxiety. I've lived with it for a number of years and to be honest, up until recently it rarely affected my day to day life. In late February this year, I started an internship with a small design studio in Manchester. I was nervous but excited. This was not only my first ever design job but also my first ever job full-stop. As entitled and spoilt as that sounds, I've always been conscious of how lucky I am to have never needed to work throughout my teenage life to support myself financially. I started my internship on the Monday and had my last day on the Wednesday of the same week. Three days.
The people there were friendly and welcoming and I make no bones about the fact that they were in no way responsible. I began to feel isolated, lonely and miserable. If I had put up with that for any longer I know for a fact I would have made myself seriously ill. The day after I left, the relief of being back home was soon replaced by panic and hopelessness. I tried to hold it together but eventually broke down in front of my family. They knew I hadn't enjoyed my short internship but now they realised just how bad of an effect it had on me. The days after that were without doubt the darkest and most difficult days of my life so far. I couldn't go a couple of minutes without feeling like I had the world on my shoulders.
I realised this wasn't going to go away on its own. With the encouragement of my family, I made an appointment with my GP and he referred me to a mental health specialist who I saw about a week later. It was distressing going through the thoughts and feelings I was experiencing with a complete strange but she booked me in for a series of CBT sessions.